Tim Stone

Tim Stone has sadly been prematurely snatched from his family and friends as well as the speedway community today. What you saw is what you got with Tim. Without his dedication and vision Newport Speedway wouldn't have survived. Like he helped so many youngsters, Tim quietly and without fuss always helped me too (albeit in a slightly schoolmasterly way leavened with a sharp wit). Unlike many other promoters of his generation and though he didn’t know me from Adam, he spent a couple of hours on the phone to go through in thorough and painstaking detail the nuances of my draft chapter on Newport in Showered in Shale prior to its publication ("do you have to say 'meagre crowd'? Can’t we say small or not mention it all?"). In my brief experience, Tim was an idiosyncratic, modest, strong minded and plainly spoken man who marched to his own tune and adhered to his own strong sense of values. In my view, he typifies why speedway remains community based and, despite attempts by commercial and vested interests, resolutely isn't corporate. He remembered his (working class) roots and was passionate about South Wales too. He will be sadly missed.

Below is a brief snapshot I caught of the man in 2005 doing the thing he loved – running Newport Speedway.

Perched on the steps of the predominantly red coloured grandstand with its six rows of red seating, I shelter in its welcome shade and ponder the superb view it offers of the start gate, the home straight and, for that matter, the rest of the track. A short while later Tim passes by, with the slightly harassed look he has now definitely perfected. It’s the look of a man concerned with the million and one complex details involved in “owning the stadium and running your own speedway club” as he has done for the “last nine years”. He’s finally found sufficient ‘spare’ time to talk with me, but is immediately preoccupied with thoughts of accidents in combination with the present weather conditions, particularly the warm sunshine and the slight breeze. He worries that “if there’s big accident” at the meeting they’ll inevitably “lose the track for 15 or 20 minutes” and, with all the available bowsers temporarily stuck in the pits, the track conditions will quickly descend to such an extent that dust storms will be created, and thereby ruin things for the riders and the fans. Tim worries about many things to do with the speedway club, but this is one that could happen this afternoon, despite everyone’s hard preparatory work earlier, since the track dries out so quickly when it’s not regularly dowsed with water.

Tim is keen to stress that he always tries to do the best for the club and simultaneously fulfil his duties as the stadium owner and the club’s promoter. However, this level of responsibility is a thankless task – and in recent years there has been even less praise than usual – that Tim has done now for some considerable time without complaint. This is, of course, the natural state of affairs and the usual experience of all promoters; but, in Tim’s case, the situation has been exacerbated in the last few years by the continued poor results. Very few people understand, and even fewer ask, about the efforts that Tim regularly puts in on behalf of the club. Needless to say, when you meet Tim, you quickly realise his wholehearted commitment to the club is absolute, “my motivation is running Newport speedway, it’s my business, I don’t go anywhere else except when we visit other clubs”. His strong, but thoughtful opinions go hand in hand with this undiminished enthusiasm. He echoes the overriding but universal theme at this club, and many other speedway clubs, that it’s “labour of love”, throughout the season and “in the close season”. Tim often goes to bed at the end of the week after he’s “done 70 hours’ work”, which breaks the EU working time directive and is definitely a huge regular commitment on its own. However, since he spent “five years to find the land” he won’t stint on the effort required to maintain the club successfully, particularly since it’s “our buildings and everything”. The winter months provide no real respite from his speedway commitments. He intends to continue to maximise [Footnote 3 there is a school of thought that Tim could also stage non-speedway activities at the stadium and, thereby, further maximise its usage. Though, obviously, this suggestion is made in ignorance of the restrictions that the local council may have contractually imposed upon the use of the stadium, even though it is already centrally located within an industrial area. The need for additional revenue streams is presently something that Tim is actively researching, particularly given that he owns a facility that is over seven acres in size.] the use of the Hayley Stadium and its facilities; not only with his famous “only outdoor close season Winter speedway meeting” on the first Sunday of each New Year, but also the training schools as well as all the usual maintenance and repairs. Throughout the summer, Tim regularly issues press releases to the media and, he believes, the club receives “good coverage” in the local papers, but not on the radio since “they never speak to me, unless I commit to advertising with them”. He also notes that among the Premier League promoters there’s a “far amount of camaraderie” but, overall, the continued survival of the club comes down to the hard work of Tim and his committed band of volunteers, a persistence that he views as a result of “desire not luck!” Rather modestly and incongruously, though, he still claims to be “learning the job”.


Apart from the day-to-day stresses involved in the management of the speedway club and both its teams throughout the season, Tim takes considerable pride in what he views as his key developmental role within the sport. He conceives his essential function, as a promoter, is “to find riders and bring them on” and to “try to give them a chance”. He achieves this by running Newport teams – the Wasps and the Mavericks – at the Premier and Conference League levels. It is the eighth season Newport have had a Conference League side and he endorses the belief that you “progress riders by riding them”; he doesn’t run either club as a charity, particularly the junior side where there’s “keen competition and not many wobblers”. He notes with interest that most of the junior riders come from the local area but some come from as far a field as “Bristol or further”. Always a Newport fan, Tim started going to Somerton Park in 1964 until it closed in 1977. During this time he worked as a mechanic to Phil Crump and Bob Coles besides “having a go at riding for a couple of years”, mostly for the Exeter Juniors. He has a number of good memories of his time riding, most notably the old track at Mildenhall, but most of all he’s pleased at the level of knowledge and understanding that his stint as a rider gave him and which he still brings to his job as a promoter. He was “hospitalised a couple of times” so has some personal insight into the difficulties and upset caused by the inevitable injuries that the sport inflicts on the riders. He also believes that until you’ve actually been on a speedway bike that “there’s a void of understanding, [and] until you’ve tried to race one you have no idea of the real power of the beast”. This lack of knowledge particularly prevails among the type of fan who complains about the lack of effort by the riders (“why didn’t he wind it on?”). The solution for this, Tim feels, is that “everyone should have had a go on one” before they’re entitled to criticise.

Tim’s diagnosis of the state of the sport is very economically based. He believes that “the sport has to reinvent itself every few years” and “just about manages to cope with every economic climate”, although things have been “difficult” since “Black Monday” when everything “flattened up”, and any talk of recovery is “all a lot of spin by the government”. Admittedly Monday 19th October 1987 saw the largest ever fall in stock market values throughout the world but, if Tim is correct, the reverberations of these events continue to echo in this part of South Wales. Nearly 10 years later, Tim himself would demonstrate his own sign of economic optimism within the area when decided to re-open the speedway club. Suddenly, just like an urban bush tracker, he invites me to “just listen and tell me what you hear?” Before I can reply, he answers his own question, “you can only hear the tractor today, everywhere else is silent, whereas, three or four years ago, you’d see the activity and hear the sound of the steelworks”. There’d be “lorries trundling up and down” but with the demise of this industry, “3,000 jobs have gone, plus 3,000 contractors”. With all those jobs gone and the “severe impact on their families” it all adds up to a nightmare; particularly if you assume “with only three people per family, that’s 18,000 people’s spending power gone”. Many people have gone hugely “in debt”, and the continual television adverts for “various money services” constitutes an “indictment of the economic climate”. It’s “the way of the world for everything to be in competition with everything”, particularly when it comes to “discretionary spending”. Added to that is the competition from television where, “you have the world at your fingertips with two AA batteries and a remote control”. This talk of television reminds Tim that Sky Sports has helped the sport become “far more glamorous” and the public’s “impression of it is being changed”. He enjoys watching the broadcasts with its “good production” values that highlight the intrinsic “gladiatorial” nature of the sport, “but it doesn’t get any more people into this stadium”. Tim feels that many tracks “suffer” from television’s impact, while Newport suffers “twice” since many “shared events [in Britain] are now on a Sunday” and so directly compete with Newport. In this climate where “people are more choosy with their money” Tim still views the position of the club as “robust really, considering the situation”. Another factor he believes is that very few clubs have the good fortune and control of their destiny afforded by the direct ownership of their facilities. “There’s me, Coventry and Eastbourne who own our own stadiums plus King’s Lynn, who’re here today”. But apart from that there’s “no one, though I don’t count Scunthorpe as – not being unkind – it’s not a stadium, it’s a track in a field”. Luckily for the sport, there are a lot of volunteers to help keep costs down and, fortunately, there’s no trouble “so speedway clubs don’t have to employ police” at considerable additional cost for their crowd control. Tim shrugs and phlegmatically observes, “I’m not Manchester United though, am I?”

Taken from Showered in Shale, Chapter 23 ‘The Club that Tim Built’

Tim Stone R.I.P.

Another Evening of Insight & Thrills

If you weren’t a speedway fan and had accidentally tuned into the Panthers versus Eagles meeting from the East of England Showground, you’d have been treated to an evening where the weather and consistency of the dirt on the track almost garnered as much discussion as the racing. Making him sound like a dog needing his bedtime constitutional walk, Jonathan Green hadn’t quite left Kirkmanshulme Lane where the spectacle of “Jason Crump doing his business with Charlie Gjedde” had, apparently, thrilled him. Kelvin isn’t happy with prospects for the night ahead so briefly pretends that he’s Coach from Hill Street Blues, “conditions are gunna be tricky out there!” he hastens to emphasize that this is an EXPERT opinion, “I walked the track earlier and the track was pretty dry before it started to rain!” The pressure of pretending he ‘enjoys’ working with Jonathan has caused Kelvin to involuntarily develop the hint of a worrying on-screen tourettes-like stutter (albeit without the expletives he’s so clearly really wanting to scream), “the trick, tri-tricky conditions”. Greeny reposts wittily, “that’s easy for you to say!”

After a rocky first week back on screen, in the interim, Kelvin and Jonathan have clearly been sent to the naughty step by the programme producers and asked to improve their notoriously fractious on-screen chemistry. Like many New Years resolutions, it doesn’t last that long but, taking the view that if you smile at the camera repeatedly no one will notice the rancorous tone of your exchanges, they trojan on. Jonathan tries out one of his simple, starter-for-ten questions, “what about Peterborough – how are they going this season?” Suppressing a scream, Kelvin harrumphs and bites back through metaphorically gritted teeth, “well, of course, we haven’t seen them perform this season!” Naturally, as this is speedway on Sky Sports, everything is brilliant, the prospects ahead are wonderful and the racing invariably so amazing that the majority of the commentary verges on the edge of an orgasm, even throughout the dullest race. Before everyone gets too carried away with the inevitable thrills ahead, Jonathan reminds us that Scott Nicholls is missing from the action (apparently Eastbourne have “lost” him). Kelvin affects some sympathy and combines it with some trademark unwarranted detail designed to subtly signify ‘I’m an ex-rider me not like the buffoonish show pony next to me’ as he comments on a replay of the incident. “Yes, such a shame….there you can see him trying to scrub the speed off and crash down he went – unfortunately, he broke bones”.

This season they’ve changed the emphasis (or I’m getting increasingly intolerant in my old age) on Sky to pretend that some blather from Kelvin will have to do for the viewers in the absence of serious analysis of the “brilliant” racing. Kelvin holds out big hopes for the soon-to-flower Danny King, “I expect him to blossom!” Though he adds the caveat, “he’s a confident chap”, thereby making Danny sound like he’s either horribly big headed or awful company in the bar. Luckily, Jonathan is on hand to help such banal pronouncements assume a profound status almost akin to a breakthrough scientific discovery that cures some awful disease. Talk soon then turns to the so-called “new faces” , those poor unfortunates invariably based at the other end of the spectrum occupied by the gloriously anointed ones traditionally known on Sky as “GP riders”. One of those so-called debutants that we’re going get to see tonight slither round the EoES, tonight is someone Jonathan calls, “Klaus Vy-SING” in a ridiculous pantomime German accent (perhaps, he’s already confused Ecclestone with Moseley and is in the throes of preparing some serious brown nosing for his rumoured new position covering Formula 1?). Greeny then effortlessly segues into further effortless idiocy, “Oh, let’s take a look at the English Leighton Eagles!” Surely, the producer has to scream “wtf!!!” in his earpiece as Greeny has one of his legendary ‘moments’ and briefly invents a brand new Elite League team. Fortunately, he can quickly start some further talk about the weather instead to try to hide his nonsense, “well I think, certainly from where I’m standing, it’s starting to clear.” We’ll just have to take his word for it as we cut away to Sam Ermolenko who’s on the track laughing at his own jokes before he’s told them, “but huh huh huh, it’s got a bit of Mother Nature on it.”

In the pits, Trevor Swales sports some eye-catching headgear that appears (in fashion terms) to be somewhere between what Hagar the Horrible or a Cossack would wear into battle. Ever avuncular, he reassures the armchair audience about the meeting ahead, “it’s the same for all seven riders – there’s no point whingeing about it, we’ll just have to get out there and get on with it!” Implicitly, he’s warning us that without the presence of the Sky cameras the meeting would have been written off as a bad lot earlier in the day. This probably also explains Jonathan’s earlier statement-cum-confession to Kelv, “we weren’t hopeful last night, yet we got one of the best meetings we’ve seen!” Given it was only the second televised meeting of the season, obviously, he fails to clarify the time period covered by his wild assertion of best-ness.

Everyone is keen to emphasize the difficulty supposed faced by the Panthers. Chris Louis worries that it’s a “tough first home meeting against a very strong side”, Kelvin claims, “I think the home side are vulnerable” and Sam advises on some revolutionary tactics, “yeh, it sure is [tricky], they’ll just have to make the start”. Sam soon sets a record for the speed of use of inappropriate language on a live television broadcast (easily beating the record held by Steve Johnston) when immediately after Heat 1 he chortles, “Lewis is bummed out he didn’t close the door on him [Anderson]”. The armchair audience don’t get treated to this wonderful description for the rest of the night. However, we do get “bummed out” by the return of Tony Millard to the commentary box. A winter away hasn’t slaked his desire or ability to get fundamental facts wrong, gloriously mispronounce names or sound like he’s trying to inject needless excitement into the reading of a last will and testament. One of his perennial favourites Kenneth Bear makes an immediate appearance in Heat 3 although he does, occasionally, also later become Kenneth Beer. Luckily, when Kenneth BJERRE takes an age to get to the tapes for the start of Heat 3, Sky have hired their usual coterie of experts to commentate and thrill the armchair audience with their perspicacity,
[Millard] “What’s happened there Sam?”
[Ermolenko] “It’s hard to say! He’s, obviously, not happy with something.”

Soon another theme develops, namely the age of Simon Gustafsson. Everyone mentions that he’s 17, though again Millard appears to have some sort of unofficial sponsorship that requires him to mention this ‘fact’ a couple of times every time we see him appear. When Gustafsson’s youth and composure are not amazing us, the Sky staff chatter about that other long standing topic of conversation, the weather. Jonathan squeals, “I’ve noticed it’s started to rain again from the corner of my eye.” Unaware that Sky will force any televised meeting to be run almost irrelevant of the weather conditions, he then turns to Kelvin with an enigmatic look on his face that I imagine is supposed to signify ‘here’s where I ask an investigative question masquerading as a banal platitude’, “you can ride speedway in the rain!” Kelvin glares back and continues the one-upmanship that is the cornerstone of their on screen relationship, “certainly! We don’t want it to rain all night!” Back in the commentary booth, Tony Millard also brushes up his credentials as an amateur weather forecaster, “the sunset is still showing in the West and, maybe, decent weather is to come?” As if to disprove this, when the next race starts the home straight camera struggles with visibility through the sheer volume of moisture on its lens. As the riders slither about and just about race processionally, Tony contradicts the evidence of our eyes, “great, great racing and the weather’s not too great!” A new heat brings a new and breathless update from Greeny, “the rain has stopped again but we’ve had various drizzles” as well as some faux enthusiasm and mystery from Kelv, “as you say, we’ve seen some super racing in difficult, in conditions.”

Things are so processional in the EoES sludge, Sam is reduced to idle daydreams about the Chris Harris/Kenneth Bear match up before it arrives in Heat 5, “a battle in the first corner I can’t wait to see!” We don’t have long to wait before the tapes rise and Tony Millard excitedly tells us, “Referee Mick Bates releases the buzz.” After the race, Sam confirms his expertise with the observation, “right now they’re at level points coming into Heat 6.” In the real world, the score is actually 14-16. Maybe they’ll level in the same way the racing is “great, great”? Sam then bigs up the clash of Hans Andersen with Edward Kennett. He knows Hans can “pull it off” on a track he knows well only to then approach ecstasy when he sees Edward temporarily take the lead, “I tell you, nothing gives me more excitement.” [!!] Tony is on top note too and informs us all how amazed we should be, “a fabulous meeting – exciting in commentary and, perhaps, exciting to you [at home]…real excitement at the East of England Showground – tremendous racing by tremendous riders!” Jonathan is in no doubt, “forget conditions, have Peterborough impressed you?” Kelvin is so thrilled he can barely speak, “well, er…” With Heat 7 nearly upon us, there’s still time for Greeny to trot out his fake German accent again for “Klaus Vize-sing”. Meanwhile Tony M employs his kettle analogies, “this meeting is really boiling up” The next race is so wonderful Kelvin gets confused about who is actually riding, “is that Henrik Moller [he wasn’t in the race], Klaus Vissing, Henrik Moller….oh, I do apologise, Morten Risager!”

Everyone with a microphone perpetually verges on sustained delight. Tony says, “there are five heats to come – I’m looking forward to each and every one of them”. The cycle of excitement and self-congratulation is broken by an interview that has Klaus Vissing towering like a giant over Chris Harris and talking like a character from the Addams Family. Not to be outdone in the fatuous stakes, Jonathan throws around more mysterious comments, “I’m pleased as a TV company, we allow them to do some research”. Still apparently on full strength anti-depressants, Tony waxes lyrical, “I tell you what if we’re gonna see racing of this standard, it’s gonna be worth watching!” Heat 12 is so bad as a spectacle that even the great Millard is forced to admit, “this race is a shade processional”. Jonathan thinks he knows why, “these conditions aren’t perfect.” Clairvoyant Sam Ermolenko reads the runes before Heat 13, “Chris Harris won’t be able to raise his game to beat Hans Andersen” and one lap later with the diminutive Bomber in the lead has to admit, [I’d better] eat my words!” Tony Millard is on hand to smooth things over with some trademark blather, “what we’re watching here tonight, it is fantastic speedway” that convinces no one with eyes in their head or previous experience of the sport. That said, Tony is never afraid to get things totally and utterly wrong. After Heat 14, Peterborough have an unassailable 45-39 lead on the night, so Tony excitedly tries to get us collectively on the edge of our seats by stating before the last race, “they [Peterborough] need to get a rider in the top two to win!”

To hide this snafu and temporarily cease the fallacious praise of the spectacle, we cut away to the real purpose of every televised Sky Sports meeting – the adverts! The one for Advance Hair Studio (“if you’re starting to thin or are balding”) catches my eye and, you have to imagine, is carefully targeted with exact knowledge of the demographic of the watching speedway audience (the hair loss generation). Once back to the meeting there is the thrill of the coin toss to witness where we’re introduced to the two team managers and “also Ben Wilson from Muscle Finesse” who turns out to be desperate for the oxygen of publicity provoked by the use of his coin and valued sponsorship of Peterborough speedway. Though meaningless, the last race will feature Lee Richardson who Kelvin informs us has “been slightly on fire”. The race does actually feature the spectacle of Hans Anderson bouncing off/riding on the safety fence. Tony nearly has a cardiac arrest (“what flair, what style, what speed”) before he pronounces, “Peterborough are won the meeting!” All that’s left from the hyperbole factory is a final interview with Hans Anderson who manages to sound like David Beckham would if he had the hint of a Danish accent. Another fantastic speedway night from Sky Sports.

8th April Peterborough v Eastbourne (Elite League) 48-42

Ongoing Scandal of GP Series Prize Money

What would it be like to live in world without inflation? Strangely enough, the riders who have competed in the Grand Prix series know this feeling well. They’ll know this again this year as the 2008 Grand Prix series starts tomorrow in Slovenia with exactly the same prize money on offer as in 2005!

Given how we repeatedly hear from the organisers and their media boosters just how wonderful and successful these events are at attracting increased (television) audiences and sponsors, it’s safe to assume that the rewards given to key BSI staff (now IMG) John Postlethwaite and Paul Bellamy - or to Ole Olsen - haven’t remained static during this period. But, then, they’re successful businessmen and not the raw talent.

What’s even worse for the riders is that the prize money is paid in a currency (the US dollar) that - unlike say the Swiss Franc (which the FIM often award prize money in) - has depreciated in value. Even worse the prize money is the only income the riders receive from the FIM for competing in the Grand Prix series. From that prize money they have to pay for all their own travel, accommodation, staffing costs and equipment. To compete at this level, clearly you require excellent equipment that has been tuned and maintained to the highest standard. Yet more bad news, from an expense point of view, is that the FIM require you to stay at one of their approved hotels so savings through a staying at a cheap B&B (or in your own deluxe motor home) aren’t available to any rider. Obviously, these earnings are all subject to taxation in whatever country the rider is domiciled or resident for tax purposes.

The pay scales for each Grand Prix are as follows:

Placing Prize money per meeting
1 $11,000 10 $3,700
2 $8,200 11 $3,650
3 $6,900 12 $3,600
4 $6,000 13 $3,550
5 $5,250 14 $3,500
6 $5,100 15 $3,450
7 $4,650 16 $3,400
8 $4,500 17 $2,100
9 $3,850 18 $2,100

Effectively, in motor sports terms, the reward for victory (even before costs are subtracted) is the square root of F all.

Based on the pay rates published on the FIM web site in 2007 the riders’ earnings from the GP were as follows:

Andreas Jonsson $143,350
Nicki Pedersen $88,150
Leigh Adams $76,500
Tomasz Gollob $61,050
Jason Crump $60,850
Greg Hancock $59,750
Hans Anderson $53,550
Chris Harris $51,400
Scott Nicholls $51,100
Rune Holta $50,750
Wieslaw Jagus $48,150
Bjarne Pedersen $44,650
Matej Zagar $39,000
Antonio Lindback $32,300
Jaroslaw Hampel $32,000


So, the ongoing scandal-cum-travesty that is the deleterious impact on British speedway of the BSI (latterly IMG) owned Speedway Grand Prix series - in terms of rider availability, attitude and the havoc it plays with the Elite League fixture list – is inflicted for an absolute pittance in prize money! These official/approved FIM pay rates lead the riders to effectively bastardise our enjoyment of top-level speedway in this country.


The conclusion must be that the rewards that drive the riders to sacrifice so much to compete for individual glory in the GP series must come from somewhere other than the prize money on offer. This elsewhere is likely to be the attraction the sponsors immediately feel about the regular television appearances riders emblazoned with their logos guarantee. The financial rewards will for riders will also come from the higher rates of guarantee, points money and signing-on fee they can negotiate/command from their club sides in Poland, Sweden, England and Russia as a consequence of the success or notoriety by competing in the GP! Clearly this isn’t a sustainable situation or one that has been set up for the long-term future or development of British speedway!


With thanks to Charles McKay without whose research, interest and diligence this posting wouldn’t have been possible. To read his article on the subject and many other matters please subscribe to the excellent publication –
the Voice: The Official Journal of the Friends of Speedway
Essential reading for all British Speedway fans
Published quarterly. To subscribe contact editor Stuart Towner on 0208 397 6599 or email stuart.towner@blueyonder.co.uk

Midget bikes and enhanced graphics herald dawn of a new era

31st March

Sky Sports choose to send their cameras to Brandon for the Coventry versus Eastbourne to open another season of live televised speedway coverage. I don’t know what package everyone else subscribes to but mine costs £35 per month and you have to ask does this represent good value or guaranteed entertainment? For the cost of this subscription you could almost buy a season ticket at many speedway tracks in the country. You’d get far more thrills for your money as well as truly support your local club.

That said, if you missed all the Elite League meetings served up on satellite you’d deprive yourself of any sight of behind the scenes along with all their ‘cutting edge’ visual innovations, the adverts for obscure or execrable products, the histrionic hyperbole and word play as well as the bickering between Jonathan and Kelvin. In the first meeting all this is provided and much, much more - things like wonky camera work and graphics from the renowned John Postlethwaite GP School of Innovative Visual Design. In fact, the opening sequence is a masterclass in combining clichéd graphics apparently stolen from the 1970’s - an era of heavy rock and experimentation apparently redone by the Sky creative team as a sort of poor man’s Yes meets Led Zep crossed with the Steve Gibbons Band art project – and Dad’s Army. The inspirational weird new red arrowed Sky speedway logo draws strongly on a map theme since it echoes the famous opening credits from this series – you know, the map where the Home Guard arrow slowly repels German invaders – and then rather wonderfully crosses it with a ‘You are Here’ graphic.

If the art department have got somewhat lost then, sadly, rumours of personnel changes on the programme haven’t extended to separating speedway’s bickering couple – Jonathan Green and Kelvin Tatum. Admittedly, they’re on screen less than previous seasons but still act like a couple permanently on the edge of a final, damning row that will lead to an expensive and acrimonious divorce. Apart from the cliché ridden opening segment, they repeat an endless pattern where to enliven proceedings Jonathan ‘Forrest’ Green says something banal, ill-informed and fatuous about what we’ve just seen, are about to see or (more post modernly) something wildly bonkers. This invariably causes Kelvin to immediately bite back to totally contradict, disagree with and/or correct this ‘observation’ with a factually based repost of his own that just about remains on this side of civil. It’s amazing that Sky Sports choose to entertain us with this on screen breakdown but it definitely breaks up the monotony between some of the processional races that are supposed to thrill and amaze us sat on the sofa at home.

For the second successive winter, the Sky Sports management have allegedly been less than impressed at another close season tinkering with the Elite League speedway product by the authorities in the form of the BSPA. With reduced averages now in force, the contentious abolition of the aggregate bonus point and the absence of the armchair audience draw card of the current speedway world champion Nicki Pedersen – from their point of view, Sky can’t be blamed for the worry that this compounds the effects of the tactical rider rule changes foisted on the sport in 2007. Even worse, they could be saddled with another season of predictable meetings and processional encounters where gripping contest and exciting passes were at a premium.

Though this might be uppermost in their minds, Jonathan has been instructed to engage the armchair audience with a winning combination of false hopes leavened with his trademark platitudes and piffle to disguise the anxiety that we’ll all suffer another DDSS season. Consequently, the live coverage is only moments old before we learn from Greenie that the Elite League is “wide open”. Of course, it is! This is the first meeting of the season and so, by definition, it can hardly have been decided! Although, if honesty entered the presentational equation, there should be some acknowledgement that some teams already look weaker than others without a wheel having been turned. We all know where this took us last season but, for now, Jonathan thrills us with news that the Coventry faithful have “come out in their throngs”. Personally, I’d have thought it was a bit cold for that this early in the season but, nonetheless, it’s an evocative image to conjure with.

While Jonathan gurgles about the “new look Eagles” going “wheel to wheel” with the [old look?] Bees, Kelvin feels sufficiently mardy to darkly hope for “a competitive league throughout this season!” Quite where he gets his information from is hard to tell but Jonathan confidently – and, for once, accurately – asserts that the Elite League this season is a “little bit harder to call”. Whereas Kelv feels in his bones the winners will come from “probably five teams”. I drift off momentarily at this point and return to consciousness just as Kelvin opines “they’ve got a very exciting top four!” I initially assume he must be referring to Coventry but then he continues, “the reserves will take some time to settle in”. Given you could say this about both the Bees and the Eagles – or almost every team – this is hardly a revelation. Luckily, we can move on to the love that dares speak its name, namely Simon Stead’s who allegedly “loves this track!” It’s the kind of healthy love that I expect us to hear a lot more about during the season and not just from Simon. Indeed, I think we’ll find that there are a large number of loved up riders besotted with their home speedway tracks.

If Nicki Pedersen has been banished from British Speedway for 2008 and, thereby, arguably weakened the overall quality of the product on display then, spookily, Sky have chosen to echo this change by eliminating Sophie Blake from their presentational team. Instead we have Sarra Elgin who, with her lilting Welsh accent and challenge free questions, springs into action to quiz Chris ‘Bomber’ Harris in the Coventry pits. You immediately get the sense that Chris must no longer be sponsored by “definitely” (who he used to mention in almost every other sentence) or “yeh” but also that he may have had media training over the close season to cope with questions about things like Scott Nicholls departure from the Bees team or his 2008 Grand Prix ambitions. Sarra tries to tempt him into an opinion on one of these topics but only learns, “yeh, it’ll be a bit different” in the team without Scott. It’s hardly a ringing endorsement for his previous contribution or a cry of anxiety about the future but, then, such is life and the practicalities of team sport. Though all the Sky Sports speedway experts last year specifically failed to tip him for any GP triumph and doubted his calibre in his first year at that level until he won in Cardiff, Chris has faith in himself and this year wants to “add on a few more GP’s” to his personal roll call of honour. With Chris Louis also in the pits, Greenie is confident of improved behind the scenes coverage (“we’ll be getting plenty from the pits tonight with two of them in there”). This completely ignores the fact that twice the volume of ‘how was it for you?’ style questioning won’t multiply our insight.

Kelvin puts on his profound face to straight facedly tell the camera that winning away could be important but stops short of telling us that bikes with an engine and two wheels will also be important. Not to be out done in the initial mini-competition to start the season with numerous statements of the obvious, Greenie informs us breathlessly, “the start here is so important!” Clearly, he’s failed to notice that during many Sky meetings over the years that the race is often almost over from the start. The coin toss has enabled the Eagles to gain choice of gates, news that Kelvin greets as though the atom has been split for the first time, “they’ll start off gates one and three – that could be VERY significant!” Sadly, a winter away from speedway hasn’t enabled the cameraman to practice so - by the start of the second lap of the first race of the season! - we’re treated to one of those superb shots of the medical staff on the centre green rather than the action on the track itself.

In the commentary box, Nigel Pearson has marked the Eagles fans down as either unbelievably fickle or easily influenced when he claims that Scott Nicholls (after only five competitive meetings) is “now a huge favourite with the Eastbourne fans!” Interestingly, the backroom graphics people have somehow converted the distinctive Eagles club badge into a dead ringer for the Barclays Bank logo. The Ipswich on tour theme started by the presence of Chris Louis in the pits continues with Steve ‘Johnno’ Johnston as colour man and foil to Nigel Pearson. Whatever Johnno has that makes him so cheerfully ebullient, he should either patent or bottle it since he immediately adds sparkle to the programme. Invariably, he comes across as a genuine man with an uncomplicated interest in people. As is traditional, Johnno mangles the pronunciation of a straightforward name (“James Brun-DELL”) before he spends the night repeatedly struck by the youth of Simon Gustafsson (“I think he’s only 17 years old! I may be wrong about that”). Suddenly unconsciously influenced by nearby Jonathan Green, Nigel insightfully lets us know, “and the reserves, you know, are just as important as the number one riders!” On a roll, Nigel then decides to stretch the credulity of even the most mild mannered viewer when he claims as though reading from a script hastily written out on the back of a cigarette packet by Peter Toogood, “it’s a very different Elite League this season to the one you saw last year!” Given we’ve only seen two races so far, this must rank as a prematurely bold prediction, even if we allow for the introduction of the ‘revolutionary idea’ of promotion and relegation.

The next race sees the Eagles pairing of Richardson and Woodward temporarily lead the strong Bees partnership of Harris and Janniro until Lee finds himself going backwards. Always keen to see things from a rider’s point of view, Johnno sympathises with Lee, “going from a paid win to last – you’d be gutted!” Back in the pits Chris Louis manfully tries to talk up the significance and tactical genius of the new slim line Cameron Woodward’s race win against GP star Chris ‘Bomber’ Harris. The air of mystery he’s tried to create about the psychological intensity and strategic planning needed to best the diminutive Cornishman is immediately punctured by the modest Australian, “oh, I didn’t look!” Always well-mannered Cameron wants to acknowledge those in the team who’ve helped him, “I wanna thank Ted [Edward Kennett] for giving me the correct gearing, I thought it was wrong but it was right.” Desperate to inject drama where none really exists, Louis persists with his ‘what was it like with the British bulldog behind you?’ line of questioning only for Cameron to again draw him up short, “yeh, well, I didn’t look!”

The early heats have so excited Kelvin that he finds himself almost overcome with the viewing pleasure of it all, “a triffick first four heats of the season!” His reading of the racecard for the next four races provokes an excitement and reverence usually reserved for announcements of a royal engagement. Kelvin is also pretty sure that the Eastbourne team manager won’t rest on his laurels and will also study the racecard in the programme with the intensity usually devoted to a sacred religious artefact, “I expect Trevor Geer to be studying things as the evening progresses.” The prospect of the “BIG ONE” - the Harris-Nicholls clash in the next race - has the Sky team collectively feel orgasmic. It’s left to Kelvin to articulate the sensation in what sounds like text speak, “this heat 5 we’re about 2C is gunna B really spectacular!” The poetry of Scott’s subsequent win on the track is matched off it in the commentary box by Nigel, “there’s no doubt Scottie is too hottie!” Later, as though we’ve suddenly got caught up in some weird Sky sponsored performance poetry contest, Greenie will rap, “it’s a case of the lean, mean Scottie machine.” In his interviews, Scott remains guarded and taciturn as though anything he says will be taken down and may be used in evidence against him at a later court date. Consequently, we only learn the “track is a bit slicker than usual” and the shock news, “that’s why we’ve come here – for the win!” Later Nigel reveals his admiration for and frustration with Scott’s sang-froid, “he’s very clever the way he talks to the press, the way he talks to us – he gives nothing away!”

The excitement of the racing slackens off sufficiently for Nigel to have to call upon his standby reserves of promotional profundity about the season ahead, “in the modern era of speedway, you can get promoted and relegated”. Though this only applies to between the Elite and Premier leagues, Nigel is moved to claim, “it’s a new era for the sport throughout the UK!” He’s easily discombobulated tonight, “who’d have thought there would be six races gone and Lee Richardson wouldn’t have scored a point?” and ignores that as Lee had only had one ride, there was a one in four chance of this outcome. Luckily there are other questions to be asked, “have they got the belief, have they got the power, have they got the passion?” With seven heats of the Elite League season gone, Eastbourne find themselves with a narrow two-point lead that has Greenie nearly christen them as possible 2008 Elite League champions. Kelvin likes what he sees too and talks about the Eagles as though they are a supermarket own brand whiskey, “there’s a good blend among them.” He also gawps authoritatively towards the camera, gives us a trademark gurn and tells us knowledgeably, “Henrik Gustafsson looks very impressive!” Johnno is keener on the Gustafsson of the Simon variety, “he’s a very good trapper for a 17 year old!”

Mechanical gremlins afflict the Bees side of the pits and force the lithe Billy Janniro to take to the track on a bike borrowed from Bomber. Using someone else’s equipment is difficult at the best of times but this is an extreme situation that immediately provokes Johnno’s sympathy, “Bomber’s bike is built for a midget!” Billy doesn’t handle the machine with his trademark smoothness, “either it’s a very, very savage clutch or may be Billy’s not used to it!” Edward Kennett wins the race and, in the post-race interview, breaks with tradition when it comes to his choice of headgear. Any GP rider worth their salt will invariably be caught by the cameras neurotically faffing with a peaked cap festooned in sponsors logos. They’re not trying to disguise the speedway equivalent of bed hair (helmet hair) but ensuring that their sponsors get the airtime their money has paid to command. In total and refreshing contrast, Edward eschews such a cap and wears what appears to be a tea cosy on his head! It’s a fairly large sized one too! More than sufficient to contain a set of Danny Warwick-esque dreadlocked hair extensions, should fancy or fashion sense take him. Like Cameron before him, Edward punctures the implied pretence of the Sky post-race questioning that he employs a complicated and nuanced set of tactics drawn up in painstaking detail by his sports psychologist, when he reveals the secret of his success is, “I kept looking straight!” Moments later we hear from Nigel about “a new look for a new season”, though turns out to be another reference to the introduction of the promotion and relegation that won’t really happen rather than advocacy of Edward’s brave fashion statement. Despite the evidence of our eyes, Nigel is so keen to tell us that, “you can’t take your eyes off this one – a triffic start to the season on Sky Sports” that you suspect he must have known that the armchair audience is either unexpectedly napping or already switching off in droves.

In a rare cut back to the trackside studio, Jonathan and Kelvin are clearly getting on each other’s tits. Forrest wonders aloud, “Belle Vue 28 Lakeside 32 are you surprised by that” only to get his head bitten off by Kelvin, “not really!” It’s the kind of engaging, cut and thrust live sports television that should rightly be award winning for speedway on Sky Sports, if there is any longer justice in the world. Heat 12 not only sees Gustafsson excluded but Johnno manages to comment upon him without reference to his age, “he was lucky not to be cleaned up by Buzzer [Burza] there!” The re-run has Johnno josh at the gating credentials held by the greatest living Cornish speedway rider on television tonight, “Chris Harris isn’t a particularly good gater and I’m putting that nicely!” Probably not put so nicely into Johnno’s earpiece by the producer is the news that political correctness has gone mad and that the two hard of hearing viewers with low attention spans and German parents the speedway coverage traditionally aims itself at on Sky in terms of level and content, requires that Bomber is always called Chris Harris in case the other sobriquet causes offence. On the subject of upsets, Nigel broaches the fact that Steve Johnston got the bums rush from Coventry over the close season - or, as modern parlance would have it, ‘learn he was no longer part of their plans’ – in a manner similar (but different) to Scott Nicholls who was also nixed. Taking an onion from his pocket on behalf of the Bees promotion, Nigel opines, “it really was the impossible choice…I know Scottie was as upset as you!” Johnno replies “……………” It’s a significant, diplomatic and studious silence from the Australian who’s usually not lost for a word or two and is apparently afflicted by the rare condition of St Vitas dance of the mouth.

The meeting is so brilliant and the racing sufficiently intense that Nigel has the time and inclination to tell us, “some of the IMG bigwigs are in the stadium tonight – Paul Bellamy.” The sensible reaction of the armchair audience will be ‘WTF is that?’ We’ve all heard of Paul Gascoigne and Paul Daniels, plus those of a certain age know that Paul Henry played Benny in Crossroads but who on earth is this Paul Bellamy? Also, although it’s technically correct to say IMG (since they bought out the speedway rights previously owned by BSI), surely if Sky Sports research has shown that the comparative intelligence level of the regular audience requires us to be told every week that “it’s three points for a win, two for second, one point for third and none for last place”, then all this talk of IMG will be philosophical Klingon. Back at the meeting, the inevitable conclusion is reached and the scores on the doors eventually record a creditable and occasionally entertaining away win for the Eagles. It’s a win gained so easily – despite a mid-meeting “closed doors team talk” for the home team - that Scott can crash into Bomber in the last race with impunity without any apparent care about the lost points. Nigel, Jonathan and Kelvin all confirm that “this season” Eastbourne will be awarded “three points for an away win” and that we have all seen live on satellite television that the canny, close season team building by the new Eastbourne promotional team of Martin Hagon and Bob Dugard has borne immediate fruit.

31st March Coventry v Eastbourne (Elite League A) 43-47

David McAllen Benefit Fund Draw

Danish Speedway GP 14 June 2008 Raffle

Click here to enter now!

As you may or may not be aware David (McAllan) will not be able to ride again due to the injuries he sustained at Glasgow in the PL meeting with Birmingham on 14 October 2007.

David broke his lower back (L1) and had emergency surgery to insert metal plates and rods into his back, the plates have to remain in his back for life. He also sustained severe nerve and spinal damage. David can walk, however, he is numb from his waist down.

Since then, there have been a number of fund-raising initiatives to create a benefit fund towards David's future well-being.

The following raffle, as with all events that have previously taken place, has the full support of David, his family and friends as well as his fellow Glasgow riders, past and present, and the Promotion.

The Prizes

1st prize: Entry for 2 persons to the Danish GP on 14 June 2008 including return economy flights from any UK airport to Copenhagen + 2 nights accommodation in a quality hotel in Copenhagen.

2nd Prize: A Mutsui DVD player + Bush CD Radio Cassette player.


3rd Prize: A Harley Davidson Lamp.


The price for a single ticket is £5.50 - this includes postage and PayPal fees. This means that the full £5.00 for each ticket goes directly to David's Benefit Fund.

Draw date 1 June 2008